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I'd been having lots of pain in my ear/neck region, and yesterday (on Lisa's birthday, no less) I woke up unable to move the right half of my face. My lips and the whole right side of my face are just nonresponsive, the muscles don't work. So I went to the doctor today (Wednesday) and they checked me out and told me I have Bell's Palsy, which I'd pretty much suspected. They gave me Prednisone and acyclovir (an antiviral otherwise known as Valtrex, at least I won't get herpes) to cover all the bases. I couldn't afford the acyclovir so the doc gave me free samples, I have to take it 4x a day for 10 or 14 days, I can't remember which. The Prednisone I take for 15 days, in titration starting at 4 10mg pills a day (taken all at once) down to half a pill the last 2 days. I've never taken a steroid before, but whatever. If it will make my face go back to normal faster, I'm on board. The doctor said it should be a few weeks at the most. I hope so because my right eye is driving me crazy, it doesn't close all the way so it keeps getting really dry, and I have to put drops in it. The doc wanted me to get an eye patch but I sleep with a bandana tied around my face to keep the light out anyway so I opted for my own less piratey sleep accessory.
I feel retarded, and trying to eat food is a whole new experience when your mouth doesn't really want to do what you tell it to. If I attempt to drink more than a small mouthful of water at a time, it comes shooting out the right side of my lips when I try to swallow. Classy. I'm picturing myself spending the next couple of weeks in my apartment slurping baked beans and other stuff that I can just suck down without much face involvement out of a feed bag. Or drinking protein shakes through a straw while I hold the other side of my mouth closed so I don't just drool it out. Oh and working at the bar is going to be lots of fun this weekend when I have people in my face asking me wtf happened to me. I can't bail on that though because there's nobody to cover me and besides, I really need the money. Lisa and her mom were awesome enough to help me out with money for the visit to First Med (which was $100 fucking dollars, but that's better than EmUrgent Care upstate by me, which charges $135 and has pages and pages of complaints filed against them for shitty medical care--not ever going there again) and the script for Prednisone because they were worried about me, and I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for that.
Lisa says I'm still adorable even with a gimp face...but I feel like I'm suddenly the proud new owner of an extra chromosome and now look vaguely like Corky from Life Goes On. Ever try to kiss your girlfriend when half your face doesn't work? It feels like...actually it feels like how a lot of people kiss that don't really know how to kiss, which is just plain embarrassing. I hope this bullshit goes away soon.
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Love is a constant in my life, and I'm more grateful for that than I can express.
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Climbed up on the rainbow
Just to see if I'd fall off
I'm a frosted lemon coward
And I don't know how
No don't know to hold you
Without shaking
No I'm not aware of how
I could possibly love you
Without aching
Yes I give you everything
Yes I give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
And so keep the light on before
You hop into bed
'Cause, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
I saved up all my sunshine
Just to see you more clear
I'm a little short on solar
But I haven't given in
No I'm going to hold you anyway
And I'll do it without shaking
Yes I'll love you always
And I'll do it without aching
Yes I'd give you anything
Yes I'd give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
And so keep the light on before
You hop in...
'Cause, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
I give you everything
I give you anything
I gave you everything
Gotta watch myself
I've gotta love myself
And take care
Yeah
Gave you
I gave you
I gave you everything
So I've gotta watch myself
And love myself
And take care
This is your last look
This is your last look
This is your last look
Yeah this is your last look
This is your last look
This is your last look
And so keep the light on before
You hop into bed
'Cause, baby, this is the last
Honest look I'll ever give
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| 2009-05-09 19:14 |
| Posted using TxtLJ |
| Public |
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Yay, my train has been delayed by a whole hour. I'm raindrenched. This has not been my day. Bar customers were mostly douchers and I made barely 20 bucks today.
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| 2009-05-07 16:29 |
| Posted using TxtLJ |
| Public |
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I'm at work. The owner left to do something. The old timers here during the day are hilarious. They seem nice enough.
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This time of night I could call you up
I'd get angry with athletic ease, break common laws in twos and threes
If I die clutching your photograph
Don't call me boring, it's just 'cause I like you.
Take me on back, take me on back, take me back
To the place where I could feel your heart
Is this the end or just the start of
Something really, really beautiful
Wrapped up and disguised as something really, really ugly.
Won't you...
Come by and see me, I'm a love letter away
I'd break your name before I'd say, "I really love you, loved you, "
I don't care if you saw, I watched every inch of film
Flash across your Roman features,
And I loved it, loved it; no I don't care if
You think I'm eager to shut your eyes, well
I'm sorry, everybody knows you can't break me with your gutter prose
Would you believe it, she sent me a letter,
The ring, it nearly weighs her down, she's got another boy, oh boy
Steady your ears, steady your ears and read my lips
Poetry is not a luxury, it's how I'll break this home
And when I'm really ill, won't you cradle me?
Man is not a noble animal, but maybe woman is, remember,
I heard you...
Inside your room, you said, "You never really live
Until your back's against the wall," oh did you really mean it?
No, I never break my gaze, if just to see this scar remain reflected in your eyes
I think it's time to go home
Oh, tell me your thoughts, tell me your thoughts on liberty,
See there's a place where I sink to sleeping
She said "oh, my vote is as red as my blood"
Will you join me for another round? I haven't had the chance to speak yet
Godspeed...
I break the law once every week to feel your touch,
What's a book to you in bed, do you feel better, older?
This just makes me ill, your name is dripping from my pen
Still you're not around to curse,
I'll drop the gun now, I'm still under you...
Marianne, let the ghosts sleep tonight.
Marianne, let the ghosts sleep, just shut your eyes and burn the past away.
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I want to have so much sex with Rachel Maddow. Seriously.
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Hilarious new icon made from a cropped photo that Vanessa took in Catskill a few years ago. This sign was outside an auto body shop, but has since been taken down for obvious reasons.
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A couple of people I know are in this video. It's hilarious:
Pomm Ciggs from Rose Surnow on Vimeo.
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There's a light on in Chicago, and I know I should be home...
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I'm really done with being sick now. Seriously this needs to end.
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